You know, I’ve never heard anybody
talk about how important
it is to build and maintain family relationships at home.
In our world there are SO MANY methods
for improving every kind of relationship:
goals for life at work, with self, with partners,
the list goes on and on
but family group dynamics
are completely overlooked.
And even saying that almost feels off limits…
since families live together,
spend so much time together,
siblings grow up beside each other.
Maybe we assume that we will
automatically experience the best kind of connections
just because we’re related.
We imagine essential elements like
empathy, trust, respect, kindness, and compassion
will just happen in the midst of our busy lives.
But that’s like thinking
I have teeth and they will just stay healthy…
even if I don’t brush them.
or
My car’s engine will keep running
even though I never put gas or oil in it.
We all truly do know better.
Teeth do need to be brushed,
cars need fuel to travel the distance
and family connections benefit, even flourish
from our sincere and deliberate efforts to focus
on building bridges across
those many canyons that can separate us.
Thank you for being a part of this circle
where we tend our relationships on purpose.
Here we agree to reach for something
radical, beautiful, and unusual
in our annual Solstice gatherings.
We create a structure to
talk to each other,
about each other,
in front of each other…
within a safe, affirming, nourishing container of heart.
Stepping out of our usual competitive habits and daily routines,
learning to be skillful in communication takes actual work,
but like anything we practice there is a payoff.
Even when we aren’t good at it at first, even if it’s messy,
just by coming together we begin to shift
the ways we feel inside
and the ways we see each other.
Leaning in to nurture our home interactions
even just for one night,
sows tender seeds of caring and closeness
which then help us to return to each other again
tomorrow, next week, next year
and Keep On Trying.
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